That was the year that I could perhaps consider the most personal journey for me because that was when I've become a work in progress
When something personal is happening it's always difficult to write about it. I didn't think I'd want to write about it honestly and I never had any intention to do so. But seeing what I'd written in my previous year end posts, I've realized how writing this would be a nice way of connecting the transition of what had been and what would be.
2015. It's honestly difficult for me to describe this year. I could go on and detail what I've achieved ,what I've done, where I've been and pass it on to my list of merits. It's a cliche and to be blunt, superficial. Though I'm not discrediting those experiences for they have been nothing but awesome and added to what and who I am today - a work in progress.
Yes, a work in progress, is the best description of my year. Without going into specifics, I've slowly braved and gone out of my comfort zone. I've always said how travelling forces you to be outside your comfort zone, it still is true, but I think they are just the triggering factor that points you to the change you want to be.
However, more than that, there are also certain factors in life e.g. people, experiences, places and etc that becomes your catalyst for change. It's only a matter of heeding those encounters and it only takes a pause. a breath, a moment, to let everything sink in before clarity sets in.
So yup, that's what I did. I took a pause, a breath, a moment to work on myself. I took some initiative on how I could ease the inner restlessness in my mind and the insecurity of the uncertain (extended quarter life crisis, it seems). In the midst of all these I've decided to go beyond my circle, on my own, and sought people and activities that could help me calm the unease. It was the best decision ever.
I can't say I've got all my questions figured out or I'm better a person or whatever. I don't even know if I'll ever be in this lifetime. Instead, I attained a minuscule but progressive understanding that life is but a moment at a time. That uncertainties are meant to be embraced, because attached to it are endless possibilities.
I started my year off with heaviness and unease created by my worst enemy, myself. Then I've progressed to seeking and unloading the burden and attachments with the help of my best friend, myself.
I've been a work in progress in 2015 and I will continue to be this year and the years to come. I'm finally getting comfortable of where I'm heading in this life. I certainly don't know where it'll be or what it is or with whom, but I'll brave it and make it. I have every faith that if things are meant to be, it will "effortlessly" fall into its right place, with right karmic actions in mind.
2015. I've been a work progress and will continue to be. I am taking the pause, the breath, the moment to embrace the uncertainty and possibilities that lies ahead.
I am excited and am very much looking forward to you, 2016.